Weight

I know you’re curious.

My reverse vanity is tempting me to lie and deny that I know this information.

But know it I do.

Weight from young adulthood:

180–1987–Graduated from high school

190–1987–Home from Q1 of freshman year (ha ha!)

180–1988–Home from Q2 of freshman year

190–1990–Moved to Seattle.  Tried to hit two bills via weightlifting–never made it.

195–2001–Moved to Chicago

200–2005–Ate a shitload of gelato in Italy.  The two bills stuck.

214–2009–Forgot to not eat Doritos and candy all the time

200–Ten days later–Quit eating Doritos and candy etc.

190–Three months later–Half-assedly not eating so many carbs

185–Present–As long as I eat mostly protein and fat and green vegetables and tomatoes

Carbohydrates #1

I’m officially in the ‘carbs suck’ camp.  I join my good friend Andrew, who is on a bacon/coffee diet.

I started cutting carbs maybe eighteen months ago.

I had just gotten off a scale.  It claimed I weighed 214lbs.

I had been eating whatever I wanted for the last month.  I was still shocked.

I cut back in a rudimentary way–no garbage, basically.  15lbs fell off in ten days.

Over the course of the next several months, I lost another 15lbs.  I kept it off as long as I limited carbs.  I had more energy, didn’t have to sleep as much.  Shat effectively on a regular basis (new development).  Basically no complaints.

On a few occasions over the last several months, I have eaten what I would call a surplus of carbs (for me, in this new phase of my dietary life).

Every time:

• I feel bloated and shitty
• I can’t shit properly the next day
• The scale tells me I’m gaining weight

After one day of eating pizza or whatever.

Last night, I ate Chinese food and had some ice cream with dried fruit on it.  Nothing out of control.

Bloated, can’t shit, etc.

Fuck a carb, seriously.  What the hell good are they?

I think the USDA food pyramid is going to end up in the same bin as thalidomide or hormone replacement therapy, sometime in the next fifteen years.  Either that or I’m wrong and I will die of heart disease.

Health care reform

I haven’t counted votes and refreshed fivethirtyeight.com obsessively for many months.

It’s nice to be back.